Britta Bushnell: Hello, folks, and welcome to Transformed by Birth, a podcast about the rite of passage of pregnancy, birth, and new parenthood. I'm your host, Britta Bushnell, author, mythologist, childbirth educator, and an all-around deep diver with a side of goofball. I'm so glad you're here. Today's episode is a solo episode with just me, so grab your comfy beverage of choice or take the podcast with you on a walk and come celebrate one year of this podcast. Before we begin, we start the way we always do by lighting a candle. If you want to join me, please do, or just take a breath as I light mine. Today's candle is in honor of marking moments that matter.
Today is the one year anniversary of this podcast. Woo! One year. I kind of can't believe it. It is hard to believe, and we're gonna do something different. I know every now and then I do a solo episode, but today is no guest. It's just me and you, and a look back, and kind of a look behind the scenes, and maybe a bit of looking forward, sharing some dreams.
So one year ago, one year ago, we crossed the threshold together with my very first episode. The first two episodes — well, the first three episodes — all dropped together as one. So it was my solo episode, and then two others with guests, and that was a year ago, and it's been quite a year.
Reflections on the First Year
And yet, you also know me, I think, a little bit by this point. That I like to speak with transparency, right? To share what is true, what is real. And I would not be myself if I told you that this experience could be summed up just with the single word "amazing." And don't get me wrong; it has been amazing. The unbelievable, extraordinary humans that I've had the privilege, honor, and joy to connect with, to have conversations with and to get to share their wisdom and their warmth with you — those moments have been truly remarkable. I've had 55 different people on the podcast sharing their hearts and their knowledge and their vulnerability and their tenderness and their strength over the airwaves, simply because they are also super passionate about birth and new parenthood in one way or another. Like, that's why they've come on. They've come to share with you. That's why I want to talk with them — is they've got something that's powerful to share.
And as is often the case with a lot of creative projects, there's more to it than just calling it amazing. It's also been a lot of other things too. It has taken a shit ton of work to get to today. I mean, we're dropping episode 55 — like, wait, what? 55 episodes? How is that possible? How, truly? How is that even possible?
Behind the Scenes: The Team
And I also want to say — did you notice that I said "we"? We're dropping episode 55? Yeah, it's a "we." I produce this podcast myself. I say that at the end of every episode, that I produce this podcast myself, but I want to make sure that we understand what that means. Producing it myself means that I'm not getting any financial backing. I am paying to produce this podcast rather than getting paid to produce this podcast. Maybe one day that will change, but right now I am paying for all the different parts that are needed to make it happen. Fortunately, I can do that, and I love making this show. And it's kind of in that way a win-win sort of thing. I love having these conversations. I love speaking with these guests and sharing them with you. I love hearing from you what it is that's impacting you. I love diving deeper into these topics. All of those things I love.
But let me get back to what I was saying a couple minutes ago about the "we" part. I have two people who make this show possible. I might be here in my office recording these conversations over Zoom, but behind the scenes, with her fingerprints on everything, is Jen — Jen McLellan. Jen is my everything in this work. She's the one who's booking guests and sending out waivers and chasing down intake forms and sending out reminders and just all of that — making reels to share on social media, writing the blogs for the website.
I mean, there's a lot of behind-the-scenes stuff that goes on to produce this, and Jen is doing the bulk of it. And lucky for me, Jen is a podcaster herself. She's the host and producer of Plus Mommy Podcast, and the fact that she has all that experience means that I get somebody to help me who gets it, who understands, who knows how to do all of that, and she knows all the bips and bobs to make it possible to help launch and maintain this podcast.
And in addition to that, Jen's husband Chris is the one who does the sound editing for this podcast. He's the one who cleans up the recordings and splices and dices where needed, and helps make sure that everything sounds pretty good when we go to air it. Oh, and he also pops in my little handmade, homemade — I guess they're homemade ads that I put in that are for things that I'm doing — and he makes sure those slot in at the right spots and puts the music in and all of that good stuff.
The two of them, Jen and Chris, are the dynamic duo that help lift the weight of keeping a weekly podcast going for a year. I truly could not do it without their help. Without them — they are the team here, and they're phenomenal. And I'm so grateful.
On Vulnerability and Creative Work
So yes, it is amazing to get to do this work, and it is a lot of work. And I'm getting emotional, but I do get to do it with people I deeply care for and respect, and that's kind of everything. And I think the tears are making me also remember that it's also a vulnerable process, as any creative pursuit — creation project — is. This is no exception. I mean, making a baby is a creative pursuit that is vulnerable. When I wrote my book, super vulnerable. Although I think I've shared before, the most vulnerable part was reading the audiobook. Oh, Nelly, that was intense. That was so vulnerable.
But yeah, there's vulnerability that is asked for in all creative pursuits in life. We're all artists creating, and that goes for birth, for parenthood, relationship, work things, offerings like this, and life. This is the place where creative pursuits intersect — the dance of vulnerability, of having to be brave, and also having to ask for help. You and me, we're all doing that. You know, maybe we need to borrow the words of Prince — you know, we're all trying to get through this thing called life, and it's a creative dance to do together.
Celebrating the Transformed by Birth Community
Today I'm celebrating what we've done together so far. I mean, because we're just getting started, folks. It's just one year in, and as I'm thinking about what we're celebrating, I'm celebrating you, my listener, for joining me on this ride this past year, for sharing episodes you love with a friend or a colleague or a family member. I'm thanking you and celebrating you for joining me for a cup of tea or a warm beverage of some sort, or taking me along for a walk, for sharing a breath as I light the candle at the beginning of each episode.
I'm celebrating the Transformed by Birth community, which is what we are. We've been sharing in a type of airwave ritual together of some sort, and it's bonding. It's connected us. You and I share some of this journey together. And one of those airwave rituals that we've been doing together happens at the end of each episode. So if you've been listening, you know that at the end of each episode, I ask the guest the same question. It's the same closing question every single episode, and that's: "What's one thing you feel passionately about that you want new or expectant parents to see, hear, feel, or know during this profound period of their lives?"
So I've had 55 answers to that single question across all of the episodes, and we gathered some of those answers together. And I thought it would be fun, and Jen thought it would be fun, for me to share some of those answers with you, and so that you can kind of hear them put together and hear the themes that have come out. Because yes, there have absolutely been themes that keep surfacing, episode after episode, guest after guest. Certain things we circle back to over and over again — they're kind of the same handful of truths from different personal angles. So I'm going to share some of those with you, and I've broken them down into six themes, and then one little bonus thing. So we'll get to that.
Theme One: You Already Know
Theme one is: you already know. That's right, you already know. So many of my guests, in their own words, come back to trust — trust in your body, trust in your baby, trust in yourself. So let me share a couple of those.
Birth doula mentor, founder of Carriage House Birth, Domino Kirk Badgley, put it this way: "You intuitively know your child better than anyone. Any book, any advice — you already have the information and the wisdom inherently and implicitly. I expect so much of my time as a doula, but also just as a friend and as a parent, reminding people that they already know. It's just about getting the voice turned up, because it's so quiet after you give birth."
I love that Peloton superstar Robin Arzón also said something along these lines. She said, "Trust that little voice, that whisper, that sometimes gets totally drowned out with social media and the baby books and the sleepless nights." She said she really wants parents to develop that internal wisdom, because it actually is already there.
And Wapio, the elder midwife with decades of experience, she said that she would like to see women and families knowing that they have the right to make their own decisions. "We don't do it for you. Make your own decisions."
So there was a lot of the message of: you have so much inside you already.
Theme Two: You Are Not Alone
Theme number two is: you are not alone. Over and over again, guests wanted listeners to know that they aren't doing this in isolation, even when it feels that way, or when practically it feels like there's nobody else near you doing it.
So let's start with matrescence specialist Julia Sarowitz. She said, "You are not alone in this experience. Motherhood can feel so isolating, like such an individual experience, but it's also universal. It's been done across time, across cultures."
And then perinatal care specialist and resilience toolkit facilitator, and a beloved friend, McKayla Lynn, echoes this. They said, "Stress creates isolation, narrows our world. We feel alone. You are not alone."
And finally in this theme is from somatic practitioner and embodiment coach Pamela Samuelson. Pam said, "I urge you to do whatever you can to form real community, to form community based on mutual indebtedness and ongoing relationship, so you can be held as you navigate this new time."
The importance of community, of not doing this alone.
Theme Three: This Is Temporary, So Be Present
Theme three is: this is temporary. So be present. Be present right now. A lot of guests spoke about time, and about how it moves fast, how much it asks of us, and also how quickly it's gone.
So birthing Papa Herbie Huff talked about this beautifully. He said, "You're passing through all of these ways of living that you'll never exactly live again, and you forget them. Seeing your children in a version of themselves is so fleeting, but so wonderful."
And then pelvic floor physical therapist and author of Floored, Sarah Reardon, shared that even deep into motherhood, she still reminds herself: "Everything is temporary" — whether it was the physical experience of healing or the sleepless nights bouncing a baby at one a.m. This is temporary, but it also fed into the really joyous moments, knowing those are temporary too. So she needed to be present for them.
And midwife Tema Mercado, in last week's episode, said something poignant: "It will all just be a memory one day. Take the time off if you want to do the maternity shoot. Do the maternity shoot. You're not going to get this time back."
Theme Four: You Are Not Failing, the System Is Failing You
Theme four is one that I think is really important, and I'm so glad it showed up in the themes of what people were sharing in that final question. And theme four is: you are not failing; the system is failing you.
So several guests spoke to failures of support that are at the systemic level, that can still feel individual, but they're part of the system that's failing. This theme shares the idea that when parenting feels impossibly hard, it can often feel like a personal failing, but it's important to remember that a fair bit of it is a systems issue.
So psychotherapist and author of The Motherhood Myth, Vanessa Bennett, said it very directly. She said, "You're not failing. It's not about you. The system was designed this way. You're not failing. It's not about you. The system was designed this way. What you're feeling is a completely normal response to a completely abnormal system." Whew! Exclamation point on that one, right?
And then coach and author of Motherwhelmed, Beth Barry, talked about the missing village — the lack of cultural support for the wildness and intensity of early motherhood that makes motherhood so hard and challenging. That's a missing part that's supposed to be holding us. Yes, Beth, I agree.
Theme Five: Becoming, Not Broken
Theme five is: becoming, not broken. You're not broken. You are becoming. So this theme of transformation — of becoming someone new rather than losing who you were — showed up consistently, which I guess is no big surprise, because this is probably my favorite area of conversation, and the reason I use the word "transformed" in both the title of my book and the title of this podcast. Transformation is kind of what has kept me in birth work — 20, oh gosh, more than 25 years. I don't know the math exactly. More than 25 years. It's because transformation, for me — I just fricking love the transformation piece. So this theme showing up doesn't surprise me.
So Jessie Harold, author of Mother Shift — even her episode title says it plainly: "You're not broken. You're becoming." That's the theme of this theme five, right? She told me, and shared with all of us: "You will feel like you're unbecoming everyone you've been." God, I love that — "unbecoming everyone you've been" — that feels really difficult, she says. "But there's so much on the other side, my friends. There's so much on the other side." Yes, Jesse, love that, and I love your book.
Author of Matrescence, Lucy Jones — another conversation I just fricking loved so much. Lucy talked about the goo of the caterpillar's transformation, and she said knowing that the goo is inevitable, and the things which make the goo much harder are societal things, but the goo doesn't last forever. So good to remember: the goo doesn't last forever, and that goo is inevitable. So it's like, maybe we surrender into the goo and remember that the things that make the goo so hard are part of that systems piece that we were just talking about.
And then therapist and founder of Life After Birth LA, Molly Normand, reminisced about the different versions of herself before motherhood and since motherhood, and she said, "I really like this version of myself better. If you're in the muck, if you're in the goo" — we got the goo coming in again — "of the metamorphosis, know that it's better on the other side."
Theme Six: You Are Allowed
Theme six: you're allowed. Permission. This is the permission theme. Many of my guests and the people I got to have conversations with wanted listeners to know that they had permission — permission for joy, for boundaries, for rest, for saying yes, for saying no, for their needs mattering. It's like many of them wanted to write a permission slip to the listeners. You have permission, which I love.
The midlife midwife Sarah Sheely shared about the opportunities for learning and enjoyment, and wanting to give permission for that. She said, "Postpartum is an incredible time for learning. It's an incredible opportunity for growth and connection. And if you prepare yourself for the other sort of mundane, practical logistics, then you can really enjoy your postpartum." And she said that's what she wants for everybody — she wants everybody to sink into it, relax, and enjoy it, which I love.
And doula, childbirth educator, and new mom, Heehe Stewart, went deep on this one. Her episode was kind of almost entirely about permission, and reminding listeners that you are allowed, she said: "You're allowed to say no. You're allowed to make your own decisions. You're allowed to disagree. You're allowed to change providers. You are allowed." That was her final message.
Erin Schlozman, author of The Myth of the Perfect Mom, also said, "You are allowed to laugh. You are allowed to have joy and find humor in the absolute absurdity of life with a newborn," which I'm just — it makes me giggle. And yeah, it's true.
An advocate, an educator, and my right hand and my dear friend, Jen McLellan, reminded us: "You are worthy of the same healthcare and advocacy that you will fight for your children. You are worthy of that for yourself." Yes, Jen.
Lisa Marchiano, author of Motherhood, back in episode two, folks, reminded us it's important — like, one of the things she asks her clients is, she says, "Do you enjoy it at least some of the time? And if the answer is yes, then you are doing it right." So you are allowed to enjoy it.
And Dr. Benta Kaiser, back from episode three, shared that she would like for people to know that there's not just one way to do something — that there are a million ways, and that your particular birth hasn't happened yet, and you're going to figure it out, and you're going to do the right thing for you. You're the expert in your own body.
Bonus Theme: Words from My Sons
So good. And then I'm gonna make a theme seven, which is just my prerogative, because I just want to end with the lines from my sons. So these ones are the personal ones. Yes, one of the episodes closest to my heart in this past year was not with a professional in the field — it was with my adult sons, and so I'm just going to share some of what they shared at the end of their episode.
So my oldest, or my firstborn, Caden, said that he wanted parents to know that it's going to be okay. We as humans have done this so many times, in so many different circumstances, with so many different challenges, and we are really adaptable, which I love, because he is such an adaptable human. I gotta just tell y'all, folks, that kid of mine is highly, highly adaptable. So he goes on to say, you don't have to plan it all perfectly. In fact, if you do, it's probably going to be a bigger problem than if you just adapt as you go.
And my youngest, Ramiya, reminded us that parenting is a multi-person relationship. Forgive me for the self-indulgent ending on the words of my kids, but you know, it's my podcast — I get to do that.
Wrapping Up the Themes
So those are the themes. Let's wrap them up all together. So what are they? There's the theme of trust yourself, that you are not alone, that this is temporary — so be in the moment with it. You're not failing — the system is failing you. You're becoming, not broken. And you're allowed. You are allowed. And then Caden and Ramiya would add that you're in a multi-person relationship — with your kids, with each other — and be adaptable.
So if I had to distill a year of conversations, of dozens of extraordinary humans sharing their hard-won wisdom, into six themes — well, six and a bonus — I think that would be it. I think that's kind of the crux of what it is that we've been talking about, and that I want to continue to talk about with you.
Looking Ahead: Hopes and Dreams
So thank you for a year of this podcast. Thank you for crossing this threshold with me. And here's to the next one, to the next year, to all the episodes that are still to come. And I want to share — let's see, what are my hopes, because I said we'd do a reflecting back a little bit of the behind the scenes, and then talk a little bit about my hopes.
I can tell you that I'm already excited to share some of the episodes that I've recorded recently, and I'm excited to share those with you. So I'm already excited for that, and I'm looking forward to some of the conversations with guests that I've booked, that I have yet to meet and record with. And keep sending me suggestions and ideas for guests, because this part — it's been so fun, and I can't wait to discover people passionate about these topics who I don't even know yet. Maybe you do. Send them my way.
I mean, this part's the fun part. Like, we're unpacking it together. And I will say that I have a special spot in my heart for authors, especially some of the lesser-known authors, courageously sharing their work, their heart, their words with the world, and working really hard to get the word out about that. Because, folks, I've done that, and I know how hard it is. And so, frankly, I'm still doing it. So — if you know of authors, or if you are an author who has a work that you think would fit well in this audience, serve this audience well, reach out to me.
And maybe I want to share a little bit more — oh, I'm going to get teary — of kind of my bigger dream as well. Less specific, and kind of more the big dream. I dream of a time when the community of listeners grows really organically. I do this work because I want to reach people. I share this work because I want to make a difference for families. I want to impact birth and parents and families in a positive way that helps make this experience better, and easier, or at least more meaningful in some way. This podcast is an act of service for me, and I want to reach those who would be supported by this content.
I want more people to hear the message of transformation over perfection. Like, that's really important to me. I want more families and couples thriving, because that helps everybody. And this phase of life is hard enough in a world of sparkly, toxic positivity messaging, bombarding us from I don't know — all over the place, from everywhere. I want more people hearing the stories of depth, of "messiness is welcome and okay." I want them hearing the message of "you got this," you got this, even when you don't think you got this. So those are some of my hopes.
Closing
Thank you for sharing this year-long journey with me, or welcome if you're just starting. There's so much more to come. If something shared today impacted, supported, or moved you, please share this episode with a friend. I produce this podcast myself with the support of Chris and Jen, and your support helps make it possible for all three of us to do this work. To show a little love for the podcast and these conversations, please follow, rate, and review. If you'd like to continue the conversation, please join us on Instagram at Transformed by Birth. I look forward to being with you again on the next episode of Transformed by Birth. Now let's gather what we want to take away from this episode with an inhale, and on our exhale, I'll blow out our candle. Until next time, bye, friends.
